


the memory of letting go

by xXILoveMyFridgeXx



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Archer Lance (Voltron), BAMF Lance (Voltron), Ballroom Dancing, Bilingual Lance (Voltron), Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Blood and Injury, Blood and Violence, Cuban Lance (Voltron), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Galra Lance (Voltron), Gen, Gymnast Lance (Voltron), Homesick Lance (Voltron), Hunk & Lance (Voltron) Friendship, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron)-centric, M/M, Personality Swap, Pining Lance (Voltron), Role Reversal, Role Swap, Sharpshooter Lance (Voltron), but they're all in their original lions, fem!Lance (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-25 07:01:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17116631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xXILoveMyFridgeXx/pseuds/xXILoveMyFridgeXx
Summary: Lana McClain does not know how to let people in.Well, can you really blame her? The only thing her father gave her was abandonment issues, and her mother left her with sorrow and guilt. Trapped in an endless loop of transfers and foster homes, she had grown to put up walls and push people away.After being sucked into space and into a war she didn’t sign up for, she starts being accustomed with the people that was her team.She starts to learn the truth about herself as well.





	the memory of letting go

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ShiranaiAtsune](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShiranaiAtsune/gifts).



> This work is inspired by @ShiranaiAtsune’s headcanons that was sent to me over Tumblr! Thank you so much for your amazing ideas! I'm glad you let me use them! I'm sorry it took this long! 
> 
> Happy reading!

When Lana McClain was ten years–old, she didn’t think about a lot of things.

 

 

_“Mami! Mami! Look, I found a shell!”_

_A little Lana gasped out in amazement as she dug out the shell from the sand. It was beautiful, with complex curves and intricate designs that she thought was really impressive. She grasped it with a proud smile and ran across the beach to reach her mother, who laughed and crouched down to catch the little girl in her arms. Lana’s body came crashing to her mother, but she had caught her just in time to spin the little girl around. Both the girls laughed before Lana’s mother finally put her down. Lana held up the violet–colored shell to her mother’s face, a toothy grin forming on her lips. “Isn’t it cool, mami?! It looks amazing, right?!”_

_Her mother chuckled softly, running her fingers through the little girl’s brown locks with delicate fingers. “Yes, yes, Lana. It looks amazing. How did you find it?”_

_Lana grins. “The wind told me!”_

 

 

Well, who would? She barely knew about how the world works, so why would she think of the future and the possible outcomes it could bring? She was a kid, where ignorance is bliss and oblivion is a pool she swam in everyday.

 

 

_Her mother froze, her smile faltering. “The wind, you say?”_

_Lana nods enthusiastically and continues to ramble about her shell, seemingly oblivious to the look on her mother’s face. “Yeah, I felt something pull me and bam! I found this cool shell!” Lana looks back at her mother and knits her eyebrows in confusion. “Why do you ask, mami?”_

_Her mother smiled and waved it off. But there was something in her eye, something that Lana couldn’t quite place. “Nothing, mi hija. Nothing at all.” Lana followed her mother’s gaze and noticed that she was staring at her watch, which prompts her to be more confused. “Mami? Why are you checking your watch?”_

_Her mother snapped her head to look back at Lana, caught like a deer in headlights. She laughed and covered her watch with her sleeve, patting her daughter’s head softly. “Because it’s almost time for my check–up, darling. We’ll need to go to the doctor soon.”_

_Lana pouts and crosses her arms over her chest, grumbling. “But I don’t like that doctor, mami! He tells you things that makes you sad! And I don’t want you to be sad!”_

_Her mother smiles ruefully and kisses her daughter’s forehead. “It’s okay, sweetie. Your mami can take it.”_

 

 

But of course, like all the other clichés and fantasies that were made to be broken, her bliss did not last long. The wings she used to fly so freely, so carelessly, became heavier with guilt, loss, and soon, it weren’t wings anymore. They became restraints that held her down, trapped her in a cage where freedom and dreams mean nothing. The key to escape was lost the moment reality came breaking down her image of family.

 

 

_Lana approaches her mother quietly, taking in the position her beloved mother was in._

_She was in a hospital gown, sitting on a bed with a small smile on her face. How she manages to smile in this time and with her condition is lost to Lana. She stretches out her arms, gesturing for a hug. “Come to mami, sweetie.”_

_Lana’s eyes fill up with tears and she runs to her mother, wrapping her small arms around her mother’s thin, frail waist. She sobbed as her mother rubbed her back reassuringly, whispering and cooing soft words through her hair. Her assurances only seemed to make Lana cry harder. “M–Mami... I don’t want you to go... I don’t want you to go...”_

_“It’s going to be okay, Lana.” Her mother soothes, firmly grasping the trembling body of her child. “Everything will be alright.” Lana sobs, wanting to believe her mother’s words but knowing that it won’t. Nothing will be alright. Everything was falling apart, reality was coming down on her with a fact. A fact that her mother won’t make it another day._

_“Lana?” Her mother asks. Lana hiccups a hum, and she pulls away from her mother, who had a serious look on her face. She places her hands on top of Lana’s shoulders, speaking in a tone Lana hadn’t hear her speak in before. “I am going to give you something. And you must swear to keep it and protect it at all costs.”_

_Confused, Lana nodded in agreement. Her mother opened the drawer from the bedside table and took out a knife, which was covered in a white handkerchief. Lana tilted her head, perplexed as her mother unwrapped the handkerchief and revealed a sharp knife which had a purple–ish stone in the middle. Her mother dragged her finger along the shiny blade, softness shown in her features. “Your father gave me this before he left. And I think it’s about time I hand this over to you.” She connects her eyes with Lana’s, smiling before gently placing it on her hands._

_Lana lets out an amazed breath upon seeing her reflection on the blade. She looks back at her mother through tear–stained cheeks and both mother and daughter shared a solemn gaze. They seemed to understand each other through their eyes, and Lana felt as if her mother suddenly knows everything she wants to say._

_She wished she had said it anyway._

 

 

Lana had lost her mother the next day.

Her light that shone on the darkness around her, her motivation to go through another day, the sky she was desperately flying obliviously on, went out quickly like how the wind blows out the flame of a candle. Her mother was the band–aid that protected her wounds, but left a scar the moment it was torn off promptly and painfully.

She had no one. No light, no shield, and no sky. She was trapped; trapped in an endless loop of transfers and foster homes that made her forget what a real home looks like. What a _family_ looks like.

Every experience was a lesson Lana learned not the easy way. And the lesson she sprouted from the seed of her loss was to never be unprepared. She lost her mother because she was in too deep of her bubble, so oblivious that she couldn’t see how the world was desperately trying to pop it with a needle of realization to make her see. To make her _feel_. To make her realize that if she couldn’t have something for long, she should at least prepare for the inevitable loss she would experience. The pain she would feel, and the melancholy that came with it.

So, when Lana McClain was ten years–old, she lost her mother. She lost her, and changed to a person who plans to escape the cage the world so cruelly trapped her in to fly once again for the freedom she lost.

That’s when she decided to go to space, since she never really belonged in Earth anyways.

 

 

* * *

 

Well.

Now that Lana is here, she’s a bit bored.

Sure, space is still cool and marvelous and mysterious and all, but after only seeing the same endless black with countless of dots painting over it, it gets a little redundant. And after almost dying while watching that scenery every time? It’s not so enjoyable.

Lana arches her back and closes one of her eyes, focusing on the target as she nocked the arrow. She was in the training room, training alone because she thinks other people’s presences are annoying. It’s a serious job being a Paladin, and she has to make sure her skills aren’t getting rusty for the job. Training daily is the only way to ensure that. Lana lets out a soft breath, and releases the arrow.

 _Bullseye._

She smirks and drops the bow to the side, happy that her skills are still intact. She wipes the sweat from the side of her face and falls into a heap on the floor, sweaty and tired from all the training that she did. She closed her eyes and tried to control her breathing, feeling her heart pound in her ears while doing so. She was so focused on staring at one point of the ceiling that she didn’t notice two people enter the room.

“Hey Lana!” Came the voice of Hunk, who walked in the room with his best friend, Pidge. As Lana observed, they have known each other long before she had met them in the Garrison. They’re a great pair, Lana admits, an unpredictable duo she had underestimated for a couple of times. But they were also those kind of people Lana didn’t like;

People who try to befriend her.

“Hello Hunk, Pidge.” Lana greets back, impassive as she stood up from the ground and dusted her jeans. She bends down to pick up her bow, tensing when she saw movement from the corner of her eye. She glances at the side and saw Hunk and Pidge exchange glances of worry with one another, whispering about something Lana couldn’t quite catch. But one thing was clear; they were going to start a conversation with her. Lana was starting to dread being here.

“Uh, Lana?” Hunk starts. Lana internally groans when she realized she has to engage in the talk they’re trying to coerce her into.

Lana looks back at them and hums, raising her eyebrows slightly in expectation. Pidge elbows Hunk, who coughs and scratches the back of his neck. “Well, uh, we’re wondering if you’d like to join us for some video games? Pidge found some and–”

Lana shakes her head quickly, feeling guilt crawl up her stomach when Hunk’s posture slumped down in dejection. “No thanks, Hunk. I’ve got some things to do. But, uh–” Lana rubs the back of her neck as she grasps the bow in her hand tightly. “Maybe next time? Sorry, I gotta go.” Lana gives them another awkward smile and walks pass them without a glance. The door opened and she stepped out.

Before the doors could close, she heard Pidge say, “I told you so! Lana wouldn’t accept our offer even if we were the last people in the universe!”

The doors shut, and Lana pretended that her heart didn’t break slightly at that comment.

 

 

* * *

 

Lana, even after seven years, never got used to sleeping alone.

Even after she lost her mother, she was never alone in one bed. She always had someone by her side, whether it was a girl or a boy. All of those foster homes and families taught her to share everything, even her own personal space. It never really mattered to her back then, until now.

The bed, even though it was made specifically for one person, seemed bigger when she has no one to share it with. She remembers sharing a bed with countless of kids, teenagers, who share the same fate as her. Homeless and parentless. She never complained, nor pushed when the person she’s sharing the bed with shoves her either accidentally or intentionally.

Lana shifts and turns, finding every position uncomfortable and just not _right_. She sits up on the bed and sighs, running her fingers through her hair in frustration. Nothing was working. How the heck is she going to sleep if she feels so uncomfortable and feels as if something was going to pop out and _drag her into the abyss of sharp teeth and yellow eyes and_ –

She lets out a shaky breath and her hand immediately flew up to her neck, to where her necklace was.

Relief flooded into her veins when she felt the sense of comfort that came when her fingers traced the shape of the familiar shell she had found years ago. She had found it, but she doesn’t exactly know _how_. No matter how many times she tries to recall the memory, she just couldn’t seem to remember about that time. When she asked her mother back then how she found it, her mother just smiled and told her that she’ll understand when she’s older.

Now that she’s older, she _still_ doesn’t understand.

It was confusing. Like that other family heirloom her mother gave her.

Lana glanced at her side and saw the knife, wrapped up in the same handkerchief from seven years ago.

She reaches out to grab it and takes off the handkerchief, revealing the sharp, shiny blade with the ominous-looking purple stone in the middle. She stares at her reflection through the blade, wondering what does the symbol even _mean_. From what Lana remembers, this knife was given to her mother by her father before he left them. But why would her mother accept it easily? Why would she accept the blade in return for her father _leaving_ them, with no questions asked? What importance does this knife even _hold?_

Lana sighs and places the knife down.

She desperately wants to know. Her past is a big question mark, even to her. She has memories she can’t seem to recall, a father her mother doesn’t tell her much about, and a mysterious knife which had a weird stone and symbol on it. She doesn’t know what this all _means_ , or what the universe is trying to tell her.

And honestly? She doesn’t know if she wants to know.

 

 

* * *

 

 

_Lana met Shiro when she was fifteen years–old._

_Their teacher brought him as a ‘Special Guest’ one time during class. He was the youngest pilot ever to lead a mission to space. Everyone looked up to him, adored him, and wanted to be like him. Of course, with a title and a reputation that big, people were going to crowd him. So instead of approaching him, Lana had just moved far away from the crowd of students that was starting to form around him._

_She never did like to socialize. Socializing is horrible, and being alone is so much better. As she sat on the ground, far away from the simulator and the students, she only thought about the situation she was in. She knew she was different. No kid would choose to be alone other than her. Everyone either had friends, or they were in groups. But only Lana was stuck in the middle, by herself._

_That’s when Shiro approached her._

_While she stared at the ground, something heavy fell on her shoulder. Her eyes darted to the pale hand for a second, before looking up to who it belonged to; Takashi Shirogane. He had a soft expression on his face, with an encouraging smile that no one had ever given Lana before. “Looks like you’re the only one who’s left, kid.”_

_Lana glanced to the simulator beside them, feeling anxious of the stares that were being directed at her. She glanced back at Shiro, unsure. But he gave her another encouraging smile and said, “Think you got what it takes?”_

_That seemed to spark the competitiveness inside her._

_Lana stood up and straightened her back, walking towards the simulator with confidence in each stride. She sat on the chair and grasped the handles, mentally preparing herself for the surprise she was about to show. She glances at the kids beside her and saw the impassiveness, doubtfulness, and the curiosity in each and every one of their faces. Others looked cocky, and Lana had a feeling that they think that she wouldn’t be able to do it._

_She was going to prove them wrong._

_She pushed the handles forward, flying straight throught the asteroids impulsively. Soon, she passed the first, second, third, and fourth levels in a breeze._

_Students were crowding her and let out gasps of awe as she dodged every asteroid, every meteor that came her way. Lana admits, those breaths of amazement fed the adrenaline that coursed through her bones, and pushed her to go through the next level faster. Quicker. No strategy and relying more on instinct to get through the next level._

_“The emo kid’s doing it!”_

_“She’s Lana, right?”_

_“She’s so cool!”_

_Students were amazed, and actually respected her. It was... nice. She never thought she’d feel respected after being an orphan, but here she was now; passing the fifth level with everyone around her cheering when she did. She felt happy, and much more confident when she heard the students tell her that she had talent, skills, abilities that were out of this world. Those compliments kept her going, and she passed more levels with efficiency and pure impulse._

_“I’ve compiled a list of students who I think would make the best candidates for the Garrison.” Lana overhears her teacher say, probably talking to Shiro. There was a pause, before she heard Shiro reply. “Is this kid on there? Looks like she’s just about to fly the real thing.”_

_“Lana?” Her teacher says, disgust hidden in her tone. Lana gripped her controls tightly. “She’s a bit of a... disciplinary case. I don’t think she’d necessarily fit in with the rigid Garrison culture.”_

_Lana gritted her teeth._

_“What about your brother, Keith?” She suggested, tone much more different when she brought him up. “He has the second most highest grades in school.”_

_Everyone was shocked as Lana flew straight to an asteroid, instantly failing the simulator. She stood up from the chair and ran, bumping into Shiro in the process, and ignored all the protests everyone made._

_She ran and hoped that Shiro didn’t see the tears that fell down from her eyes._

 

 

***

 

 

_Lana sat at the edge of the cliff, her legs pressed to her chest as she watched the scenery in front of her._

_Her favorite scenery? The sunset._

_She and her mother used to watch sunsets together, all while telling stories, cracking jokes, and exchanging knowledge and information about the stars, life, and every topic they come across on. Those were the memories Lana treasures the most, since sometimes those conversations could turn from lighthearted and happy, to deep and serious._

_But now, she’s all alone._

_Or that’s what Lana thought._

_She heard the sound of a car pull up from behind her, and she instantly tenses. She takes a glance over her shoulder and breathes out a sigh of relief when she saw Shiro stepping out of his car. Even though she doesn’t know him much, it was much more better to see him rather than her horrible caretakers. She looks back at the sunset, slumping slightly. “What are you doing here?”_

_She felt his presence beside her, standing big and tall. She almost felt threatened by him, both in physicality and rank. But when he releases a soft breath and slumps, unlike his regular posture, Lana managed to relax and she doesn’t know why. “Well, I guess I came for you, kid.”_

_She furrowed her eyebrows and turned her head to look at him. He was looking at the sunset with a calm look on his face, his hair flowing slightly with the wind as if nothing had gone wrong in his life._

_Lana’s heart twisted._

_No._

_She was not going to judge him. Her mother raised her not to think everyone is perfect, and to not make assumptions easily. Everyone has a story, and it’s not right to judge them by their cover._

_“Why?”_

_He sits down beside her and inhales slowly, exhaling the same way. “I don’t know. But... when I found out that no one was coming after you, it didn’t feel right to me to leave you all alone. And on top of what everyone was saying about you, I just had to give you some company.”_

_Lana hugs her legs closer to her chest, feeling the self-deprecation crawl up her skin. “Yeah. They... they don’t really like me that much. No one does. And you don’t have to either, if you feel obliged to do it.”_

_“Wait.” Shiro interrupts while smiling. “You think I’m doing this because I feel forced to do so?” Shiro laughs and shakes his head, as if he thought that Lana was joking about this. But she wasn’t._

_Lana bites her lips and glances at the ground. “Is it not true?”_

_Shiro stops when he heard the seriousness in Lana’s tone. He looks at her and Lana flinches when he reaches out a hand to place on her shoulder. Shiro didn’t question her and retreats his hand midway. He offers a small smile instead. “Lana, I’m doing this because I want to, not because I feel obligated to help you. I genuinely care for you and your whole being.”_

_“But you don’t even know me!” Lana exclaims, her voice filled with confusion and hopelessness. She doesn’t understand why he’s doing this or why he’s telling her words that she had always yearned in her whole life to hear. She doesn’t know what Shiro is trying to do, no matter how much she tries to figure him out._

_Shiro stood up and dusted his pants. “You’re right, I don’t. But sometimes, we all need a hand.” He takes out a card and hands it to her. Lana takes the card from his hand and starts to read the writing on it, realizing that it was an address. She looked back at him and saw him smiling the soft smile he always wears. “Be at that address at o’eight hundred hours.” His smile got wider. “You’re getting a second chance, kid.”_

_With those words, it was impossible for Lana not to smile back._

 

 

* * *

 

 

“I told you to watch my back.” Keith whispers vehemently, trying to get his hands out of the chains that were restraining him. “And what did you do? _Not_ watch my back, that’s what you did!”

“I was fighting off _five_ sentries! How can I fight them all off if I’m watching your back?! And with a _gun_ , no less?!” Lana whispers back, tone just as vehement.

Hunk groans and drags his hand across his face, his chains making loud sounds as he did so. “Can you guys please stop fighting? We’re literally _captured_ , this is no time to fight and make arguments.”

Lana and Keith both grunted.

Lana, Keith, and Hunk were captured. Before that, they first received a distress signal coming from a planet called ‘Uzeklovakia’ that stated that the Uzeklovakians needed help since the Galra were attacking their planet. Of course, Allura sent them off immediately (without even checking to see if it was a trap or something but whatever). When they landed there, Shiro assigned the three of them to go to the castle while he and Pidge scout the village.

Lana doesn’t know if she was unlucky or if she was just cursed with bad luck. Turns out, the castle was _filled_ with sentries, and the three of them barely managed to escape them. They were outnumbered, and it wasn’t long before they were captured by them. During the fight, Hunk managed to break his left hand, which was sort of lucky for him since he’s right–handed. Keith sprained his ankle and now has a dark, ugly purple bruise blooming on his cheek. But in Lana’s opinion? She seemed to have taken most of the brunt of the fight.

She can feel the sting of her split lip whenever she speaks, she’s sure that she has a dozen of bruises underneath her armor from all the hits and blasts she had taken just to protect her teammates, her whole body _ached_ with throbs and tight with dried blood from wounds that still seem to be bleeding. A particularly large wound from a blast on her side seemed to be doing that. She hissed as she felt the after-effects of the blast, not forgetting the way the bright, white light came closer and closer until it had finally took a blow to her side.

She pulls the chains on her wrists, which was connected to the smooth, metal ground. She glared at Keith, hate burning her insides. Isn’t he at least _grateful_ that she had protected him? She wouldn’t have gotten the blast wound if he had just _moved out of the way_ , but no, he had to be too busy dueling with a sentry that he didn’t notice how she took the blow that was meant for him. Lana scoffed. Ungrateful teammate. This is why she prefers to work alone. If something doesn’t go according to plan, then they would be finger-pointing, blaming, and be angry at whoever didn’t ‘have their back’, as Keith so kindly put it.

“This hurts so much.” Hunk groans out. Lana gave him a sympathetic look. She would’ve patted his shoulder if they weren’t so far apart from each other. Well, not that far, but far enough to not reach each other at arm’s length. The only comfort that Lana could offer was words, which was not exactly her strong suit. “When we get out of here, you’ll be the first one in the cryopod.” 

Hunk lets out a fake cheer. “Yay, my first time in the cryopod and it’s because of a broken hand. I’m so pathetic.” 

Lana protested immediately. “No! You’re not! You’re hurt! So you deserve to be in the cryopod!” 

A beat passed.

“W–Wait, that’s n–not– I meant–” 

Lana realized how wrong her words were and her cheeks flushed red in embarrassment. Why the hell did she have to speak up? She shouldn’t have spoken at all if she knew _this_ would be the outcome. For an introvert like her, speaking up was a big task and just saying those words made her cringe in humiliation. 

 _Nice job_ , _Lana_ , she sarcastically tells herself. _You just had to say something without thinking first. How smart of you._  

Lana was too busy in her thoughts that she didn’t notice the looks of concern on Keith and Hunk’s faces.

“Uh, Lana?” Hunk asks hesitantly. “Are you... okay?”

Lana snapped out of her reprimanding thoughts and gave Hunk a smile, flinching when her lip started to sting even more. “I’m fine, Hunk.” Hunk and Keith didn’t look convinced by Lana’s assurance.

“I really am fine.” Lana insists, but it still didn’t ease up the worry on her teammates’ faces. “What are you guys even worrying about?”

“Maybe the fact that the whole side of your armor is covered in blood?” Keith tells her, his voice high–pitched and concerned. “And that you look as pale as a sheet of paper?!” He tried to walk towards her, but he didn’t even get close as his chains restricted him from doing so. That seemed to frustrate him, and Lana does not know why. Keith looks up and their gazes connected. His eyes were filled with concern, unlike the annoyance that clouded them earlier. “Just... put pressure on the wound.”

Lana nods and did what he said, wondering why didn’t she think of that sooner. She glanced down, gulping when she saw the amount of blood her hands– more like her gloves– were covered in. She closed her eyes, trying to steady her breathing that was slowly starting to get out of control.

“What do we have here? A sleeping Paladin?” The voice of someone walking in taunts. Lana opens her eyes and sees two Galra soldiers walking in, one holding a gun and the other seemingly unarmed. If Lana wasn’t chained to the ground, she would have taken down these two soldiers easily. With or without a bayard. The possibly unarmed Galra smirked, showing off his disgustingly sharp yellow teeth. “You are quite ravishing. Striking, for a Paladin.”

_Excuse me what._

Lana blinked unnervingly as Keith pulled on his chains and growled threateningly. “What the hell do you mean?”

The Galra ignores Keith and focuses on Lana, much to the former’s dismay and the latter’s discomfort. “Tell me, how did you Paladins even made through the fight?”

Lana tenses, realizing where the conversation was going. She was not going to fall for the Galra’s words, but she’s worried that Hunk or Keith might will. The Galra laughed as he walked around the room, looking superior and acting as if he knows everything. “The Yellow one seems to dread being here, which I find is really strange. How is he a Paladin if he doesn’t like what he is doing?” Hunk whimpers and Lana has never, in her whole life, wanted to comfort someone so badly.

“The Red one, on the other hand, seems to want to always work alone. When in battles, he always separates from the other Paladins and fights on his own. I wonder why is that?” The Galra taunts, visibly getting to Keith, if his annoyed and angry expression said enough.

Will this guy ever shut up?!

Lana _knows_ what he’s doing. The Galra is trying to manipulate their minds, twisting their thoughts with his words. Saying things that were brutally true, but also peppered with lies. And with the way the Galra’s gaze was on her, she has a good idea on what he’s planning to do next. “And then there’s the Blue Paladin.”

Lana stands tall, even though she just wants to collapse on the floor. “What?”

The Galra smirks. “Has anyone ever told you that your beauty is the only thing special about you?”

Lana wanted to scoff at the lies the Galra was spewing. Does he honestly think Lana cares about her looks? Lana is confident in her strengths and abilities, she knows who she is and some dumb Galra won’t change her mind.

She was going to tell the Galra off, but a sudden idea sparked in her head.

_Maybe..._

Lana smirked internally, liking the plan that was forming in her mind. She supposes it’s time to put her acting skills in use.

“What... what do you mean?” Lana asks in the most softest voice she could ever mutter. The Galra’s eyes brightened, probably thinking that he had gotten to her with his words. But little did he know that his words doesn’t affect Lana at all. “Oh, it’s true. You’re just the weak link. You have nothing special other than your beauty and physique. Why else would you be in Voltron other than for show?”

Lana mustered up the most pain–filled expression ever, even though deep inside she was getting annoyed.

The Galra walked towards her, until he was just in front of Lana. Lana stood in her full height, not at all threatened by their height difference, which was actually pretty huge.

(If Shiro was here, he’d still be no match to this giant, purple fuzzball. This guy was so tall, probably the same height as her [used to be] house in Varadero.)

The Galra smirks and grasps Lana’s chin, disgusting her with the way his evil, dirty claws were on her. Nevertheless, she still acted like the scared, weak girl the Galra thought she was. “I have heard stories about you.” The Galra mutters, his sharp yellow eyes roaming around her face. That didn’t sit right with Keith. “ _Hey!_ Let go of her!”

“What... what stories?” Lana whispers. She asked because she’s genuinely curious, not because she’s acting this time.

“What they say is quite interesting.” The Galra muses. “They say that you–”

The Galra was, unfortunately, cut off by another Galra rushing into the room. The Galra immediately walked towards to the Galra in front of her. “Sir! The scanners detected a rogue Galra loose in the ship!”

That statement caused the Galra’s confident expression to turn into bewilder. “Tha– That’s impossible!” The giant Galra sputters. “This is a heavily guarded ship! There is no way an intruder would be able to enter! Much less a _rogue_ Galra!” He glanced back at the three Paladins. “I _will_ be back.” He then left, with the two other Galra trailing after him.

For a moment, there was silence.

Lana smirked, opening her mouth to tell Hunk and Keith what she got, but the words die on her tongue when Hunk turned his head to give Lana a soft expression, which baffled her completely. “Lana, don’t trust what that Galra said. It’s not true.”

“What.” Lana asked dumbly, blinking repeatedly at Hunk’s words.

“Yeah.” Keith spoke up softly, and Lana turned to him. He was looking at the ground, avoiding eye contact. “You’re more than that. Really. He’s just lying.”

Slowly, she started to connect what their words meant. Wait. Were they talking about–

“Did you guys actually think I care about those Galra’s words?” She says, trying to fight a smile from breaking out her lips. Even with no words spoken, the look on Hunk and Keith’s faces said it all. Wow. Lana’s surprised that they bought the act, it just goes to show that she’s still _incredibly_ amazing at acting.

She should find a space theater or something and audition.

She laughed, which surprised Hunk and weirded out Keith. “Guys, look, I’m fine. I was acting.”

They didn’t believe her words.

Hunk continued, as if he hadn’t heard Lana speak up in the first place. “You’re a great pilot, one of the best I know.”

Lana’s heart swelled at the compliment. “Hunk, I appreciate what you’re saying but really, I was acting to get something from the Galra without him noticing.”

That seemed to temporarily buffer Keith and Hunk’s minds. They blinked in unison, dumbly looking at her with their mouths opening and closing, unsure of what to say. Lana wanted to laugh at the look of their faces, especially Keith’s, but she decided to further explain. “Look guys, I’m confident in my abilities. I don’t need anyone else to tell me that. But for that Galra to come closer, I had to play the part of a naïve girl to get what we need.”

“Which is?” Keith prompts, genuinely curious. And if Lana doesn’t know any better, she thinks there’s an underlying spark of admiration in his eyes.

Weird.

Lana grins and holds up the chain of keys she snatched from the Galra’s side, making Hunk and Keith’s eyes bulge out in surprise. “The keys to our freedom.”

“Wow.”

“Well done, Lana.”

Lana grinned once more and started to unchain herself quickly, trying to find the correct key to do so. After a few seconds of trying each and every key, her chains were loose and she was finally free. She rubbed her sore wrists, hissing a bit at the pain.

“Are you okay?” Keith asked, eyes furrowed in concern for her. Lana nods and gives him a reassuring smile. “I’m fine, mullet.” Lana was about to walk towards him to unchain him next, but then the doors opened, which caused her to snap her head to look at whoever entered the room. A Galra. Two of them.

Oh shoot.

The two of them stopped what they were doing to look at Lana, slowly realizing that she was out of her binds. She smiled awkwardly and raised a hand to wave at them. In return, they raised their weapons at her. One of them holding a sword and the other holding a blaster.

This is what she gets for being nice? Seriously?

“Come on guys, just let me and my friends go and nothing bad will happen.” Lana says, hoping they can sense the underlying tone of threat in her voice. They did not. Instead, they brandished their weapons and started to approach her slowly, as if she was the helpless little prey and they were the hunters. “Stand down, Paladin. Or else we’ll have to hurt you.”

Damn it. They have to choose the hard way.

Lana laughs and scratches the back of her head. “Well, you see, I can’t do that.” With that, she runs at them, abrupt and with adrenaline suddenly bursting through her veins.

She felt the heat of the blasts from the blaster when she passed it by, scalding as they flew past her cheek. She smirked and kicked the blaster off of the Galra’s hands, quickly flipping out of the way as the other Galra tried to hit her with his sword. She twisted on her heel and kicked high enough to reach the weaponless Galra’s face. Unfortunately, the Galra caught her ankle. Before he could do what he wanted, Lana acted fast and bounced on her other foot, preparing herself as she leaped on the Galra’s shoulders, her legs around his neck. She squeezed her thighs around the Galra, tight enough to choke him.

“Lana, watch out!”

“On your right!”

Lana heeded her teammates’ advice and bended backwards, watching as the other Galra’s sword went through the thin air between her and the other Galra. She gets back up and forcefully pulls the sword, dragging the Galra along with it. As he came closer, she pulled out her knife and stabbed him straight in his chest, enticing a scream from him and causing purple blood to spray everywhere. The Galra lets go of the sword and grasps the knife on his chest, desperately trying to pull it out. Before he could, Lana used his sword to stab him once more, making him scream again. She twisted the sword and smirked maniacally, watching as more blood spew out from his chest.

She retrieves the sword and stabs the Galra she was on top of, pushing it through his body. The Galra screamed in complete pain, grasping the bloody sword, attempting to pull it out. While doing so, he stumbled backwards until they both crashed to a wall. Lana hissed in pain when the bruises and wounds on her back burned at the sudden collision. She growled and placed her one hand on the Galra’s head and snuck her other under his chin. Then, she _pulled_ on both sides, causing the Galra’s neck to snap and break.

Lana somersaults out of the Galra’s shoulders and landed perfectly on her feet as the body fell to the ground, lifeless and completely bloody.

Silence.

Everything was quiet besides the short, harsh pants that came out of Lana’s mouth, clearly indicating that she was out of breath. Her wounds were on fire, the scars she thought were closed were open once again with blood gushing out from it, her body ached immensely and screamed for her to stop moving. To lie down and rest, but she can’t do that. They don’t have enough time before some other Galra walks in and tries to bring her down. Lana turns her head to look at Keith, passing him the keys which he caught with ease. “There. You can unchain yourself.”

“Where... where did you learn all that stuff?” He stammers, eyes wide to her in wonder.Lana smiled and wiped the blood (the Galra’s blood, not her own blood) off her chin.

“I was part of a gymnast team.” She winked.

Keith’s cheeks flushed red and he turned his attention to his restraints, finally starting to undo them. While he was busy doing that, Lana walked to the body of the first Galra she killed. She kneeled down, her eyes on the protruding knife on the Galra’s chest. She wrapped her fingers around the hilt and pulled it out abruptly, a thick, purple line of blood trailing after it. She wipes the blood away from the stone, watching it glow dangerously afterwards.

What?

She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, before a sudden jolt traversed throughout her whole body.

 

 

 _Purple face. Purple skin. Sharp teeth. Yellow eyes. Twin marks on both sides of their face._

_Soft expression. Gentle tone. Warm smile. Affectionate touches._

_“Lana.” They whisper, their voice sounding familiar but so new at the same time. “Lana, I’m here.”_

 

 

She gasps and jerks back, landing on her ass painfully.

What... what the _heck_ was that?!

What did she just see?! Lana stares back at the knife, but it wasn’t glowing anymore. It looked the same as always, the same blade covered in Galran blood. The stone still looked ominous, but not as scary as it was when it was practically _glowing._

But what the heck does that mean?

“Lana, are you okay?” Keith comes over to her, wrapping his hands around her shoulders. She quickly hid her knife back from where she hid it the first time and gave Keith a small smile. “I’m fine, thanks Keith.”

The corner of Keith’s mouth quirked up, and he pulled Lana gently up her feet. Hunk appeared from behind them, out of his restraints and worry etched on his features. “Are you okay? Did they hit you? Do you–”

Lana waved off Hunk’s concern with a smile. “Hunk, I’m okay. You don’t have to worry. We just–” she unexpectedly flinched at one of her wounds, her smile flickering from her lips. “We need to get out of here.”

The three of them nodded in agreement. Before they could take any step forward, they heard something breaking through the door.

They all looked at the door, noticing there was some sort of laser cutting through it. The three of them tensed, expecting to get into another fight. They may be ready, but they can’t get into another fight again. Hunk’s only using one hand to fight, Keith can barely walk without limping at every step he takes, and Lana? Lana can’t fight anymore.

She’s tired, and the wound on her side seems to be getting bigger and bigger, blood rushing out non–stop. Her back burns, her legs are wobbling uncontrollably, and her arms are so heavy with exhaustion that she can barely lift them anymore. They’re not only outnumbered, but they’re also powerless against any Galra that may walk through.

(It’s not pessimism, it’s facts.)

Nevertheless, she still needs to fight. She can’t just give up. No, never. Shiro taught her that she can never give up, especially on herself. She prepared herself mentally and raised her fists up for a fighting stance. As the door was slowly cut through, the three waited to see a Galra walk in and fight them.

But instead, _Shiro_ walked in and greeted them with a smile. “Hey, sorry if we took too long.”

The three of them simultaneously screamed the man’s name, all with different emotions displaying on their faces. Surprise, joy, and absolute relief at the fact they weren’t going to fight anymore. Lana got out of Keith’s grip and ran towards Shiro, wrapping her arms around him tightly. Their armors clacked together and got in the way of actual human contact, but Lana didn’t care. Shiro was here, and everything was going to be alright.

“ _Oof!_ Hey, kid, what’s gotten into you?” Shiro laughs, amusement clear on his face.

It was immediately wiped away when Lana’s legs give way, her body weight relying solely on Shiro. Her vision blurred, spinning as everything around them became suddenly so hard to see, until Lana can only see the faint color of their armor. Blurry, but she can still see it.

“ _Kid!_ What’s wrong? What happened?” The black silhouette asks, panic starting to grow in it‘s tone. “Keith, what’s wrong with her?!”

She wanted to tell the blur of colors that she was fine, but every word that seems to come out of her mouth was gibberish, incomprehensible, even to her. She mutters, not understanding what she saying but trying hard to assure the colors around her that she was okay.

Huh.

But... she guesses, being surrounded by red, black, and yellow is a good way to go.

She lets her eyes flutter close, and unconsciousness sink in.

 

 

* * *

 

 

_When Lana isn’t indulging herself in a book or busy studying in her room, she observes people._

_That is the second thing she always does (first being not socializing)._

_She looked around the halls of the Garrison, eyes bored as they scanned the crowd. It was the same, usual day. There were groups of guys on one side, and a group of girls on the other. Some of them are mixed, and some of them are just two partners gossiping loudly to one another. There was nothing new. Just the same, old regular boring day in the Garrison._

_Except–_

_Lana’s eyes automatically landed on the trio, as they always do, and her lips quirked._

_Ah._

_The Garrison Trio._

_They aren’t that popular, but that doesn’t mean they’re not well–known. Everyone seems to know about the three’s unbreakable friendship, and believe it or not, some people were jealous of it as well._

_(Maybe she is too, but only a little.)_

_They always make such a strange sight every time they’re together. The three of them all different in sizes and heights but always seemed to get along with each another like no one else can. The tall one, Hunk– she thinks– may look intimidating, with his huge physique and stature, but she noticed that from the way he interacts with other people, he’s actually a really big sweetheart. He’s nice, helpful, and based on rumors, he’s also a great cook. And he’s also an engineer, which is pretty cool._

_The next one, Pidge Gunderson, is a short guy with a lot of fire in him._

_(Lana finds it weird that this guy isn’t related to Shiro’s friend, Matt Holt. They have the same hair, same eyes, but they’re not related. Lana knows that Matt has a younger sister, but she doesn’t know who that is. All she knows, based on her observations, that this guy looks like Matt Holt. Maybe he’s a doppelgänger?)_

_Pidge is a scientific and mathematical genius. Honestly, Lana is so impressed of him. He has a great mind, and accompanied by his technological skills, no one can beat him. Lana heard, once, that someone hacked the systems so that James Griffin couldn’t escape the guys’ bathroom. But Lana knew, the genius behind all of that is Pidge Gunderson, the best hacker anyone could ever have._

_The third one–_

_Lana gulped, feeling her heart speed up._

_Keith._

_The top second pilot in the Garrison._

_He’s... how can Lana explain him? He’s complex, has sides to him that leaves Lana surprised, one way or another. He can be completely nice, then become totally cold after. When Lana thinks she’s got him all figured out, he does something that makes Lana rethinks what she thinks she knows. He’s... he’s this enigma that Lana couldn’t figure out, no matter how much she tries._

_Other than his mysteriousness, he’s also an amazing pilot. Much like her, he relies on impulse, and impulse alone. Though, he’s a bit more impatient and hotheaded than her. He doesn’t like it when the flight exercises are too slow. He prefers to be fast instead, but he doesn’t disobey for the sake of the keeping the reputation his family holds, which is also the same reputation her mentor– Takashi Shirogane– has, since they’re related and all._

_She knows what she feels about him. An infatuation. Admiration for the black–haired boy’s loud and kind personality. Mesmerized, as the boy explains a story with his hands, his face open and expressive, and a grin tilted on his lips._

_(She wishes something between them would happen. Something._ Anything _. Whether it be friendship, or an actual relationship, she doesn’t care. All she really wants is to be close with the boy.)_

_Unfortunately, he hates her for some reason. A reason she does not know about._

_Her heart stings as she watches them pass by, yearning to approach them and wondering what it would be like to hang out with the trio. To speak with them and to know what it’ll finally feel like to have friends. But she can never have that chance, and that’s fine. Really, it is. She has Shiro, her grades, and her studies. That’s more than what she deserves._

_(She wishes she can squash down the little voice in her head telling her that it wasn’t enough, that no matter how much she convinces herself it is, it’s not. Nothing will be. She’s just an ungrateful brat who doesn’t know when to be satisfied with the things she already have.)_

_(But even if she thinks about it, is wishing for a friend really too much of a luxury?)_

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you guys have any suggestions, or just want to bond over Lance, you can go to my [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/yes-i-do-love-my-fridge)! 
> 
> If you guys want to read another one of my fics, you can find another Lance-centric one titled [This Could Be The Start (Of Something Big)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16421174/chapters/38445398). It's about the team going through Lance's memories and learning more about his backstory! 
> 
> Thank you for reading my fic!


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